I had a Match Meeting in Spring Arbor today. So, I drove out there just like I drive to Brooklynn, Grass Lake, or Francis St. I drove out there to bring two wonderful individuals together so that they could be blessed by one another. And, that's exactly what I did. I made another great match. BUT... Turns out my trip to Spring Arbor impacted me a little more than my other travels around Jackson County.
I haven't really been to Spring Arbor since graduation. A couple times here and there to visit my old roommate, but never was I impacted by the campus, by the small village... by the park and all the memories like I was this time.
Spring Arbor is where I fell in love. Lying in the park star gazing for hours and hours and talking about our families and the past. Countless hours in Ormston and Village D. Sitting hand in hand in chapel. It was there that I realized I have the ability to care for another, and to share my story and my life with someone else. What a beautiful lesson to learn.
Spring Arbor is also where my heart was broken... many times by many different people. It's crazy how much we let others impact our lives. Just one word, one look, can be misread and your whole day (or month) can be affected. It's silly how we let others do that to us.
My life is very much different now than it was a year ago when I was an SAU student. My days were filled with friends and school work. Hours in the gym, and hours watching the Bachelor and One Tree Hill. While none of my interests have changed, I now have a job where I am needed, and I get to be a part of beautiful and hard times in people's lives. Yet, I long to be back in school. To have those friendships and to do all the silly things we used to do. The meaningless things that today mean the world to me when I think about them.
I miss my friends. I do. I feel really lonely, which is ironic since I'm surrounded by people everyday. I'm a Social Worker... It's my job to spend time with people and talk to them. Yet, I feel like I'm lacking true intimate relationships in my life.
I spoke to my mom last night for a really long time. She's such a wise woman. We talked about how things are different now, and therefore all the friendships I had in college will not be like they are today. We all have our own lives now. And, as much as I feel like everyone has their own life and I don't, I do. My life is busy and full of appointments, just like everyone else. Once I get settled into this chapter of my life, everything will fall back into place. Ther
e will be comfort and familiarity again (probably in a new form), I just have to have patience as God settles me. Unfortunately I always want God do to things a little faster than He does!
It's a rut I'm in, but I cannot lose faith. I sat here tonight and watched the sky turn all sorts of beautiful colors. Purples, blues, pinks, oranges. Only God can paint that beautiful of a picture. He knows the number of hairs on my head... He knows the plans He has for me.
I will worship while I wait to see them played out.
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